Pregnant as an OMS1

I have been missing for good reason.

We're having a baby!!


Surprise!!






We found out a few days before school started so it has been a complete ride.

Being pregnant and knowing I'll have my first baby in medical school has been very surreal.

Let's get up to date:

• We're having a girl!
• She's due at the end of February.
• First felt the quickening at 16 weeks.

So many emotions and thoughts.  But my main one: Can I do this?


It's been hard.  Doable, but hard.

I've had to get used to medical school and being pregnant all at once while still making sure I make time for myself and my husband.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was so terrified of what that meant with school.  What my admins and professors would say and think.  I was so scared they would think that I wasn't taking medical school seriously and that I was a wasted spot in the class.  But, I can say without a doubt that I am in the right place.  Everyone has been beyond supportive, kind, and helpful.  Staff, faculty, clinicians, and deans alike have expressed their support and love and I will be forever grateful for their kindness and love.  They are also allowing me to make up my missed school that will happen this summer before second year starts.  And I couldn't be more thankful.



Struggles per trimester:

• First Trimester:
• Pregnancy brain.  This is a thing.  And its also the most inconvenient thing that could ever happen to you in medical school while trying to learn everything under the sun.  I had always thought this was just something people made up.  No- it was the most awful thing.  I went from being able to remember things so easily to struggling to even remember how to to use the washing machine. 
•  Effects it had on real life: I washed my husbands cell phone.  And it died. Rice could not save it. 
• Effects it had on school: My grades struggled.  My retention was nothing.  I survived, but some of the material just didn't stick which will make studying for boards interesting when I get to that information again.
• Food aversions.   I hated most food under the sun.  I'm convinced my baby is made out of crackers and string cheese.  Because this is pretty much all I ate.
• Effects it had on real life: My poor husband had to cook us every single meal because the look of uncooked meat sent me heaving.
• Effects it had on school:  Low energy because I wasn't eating much.
• Exhaustion.  I slept ALOT.  I had to take nap breaks while studying to make it through the next few hours. 
• Effects it had on real life: I was a zombie for most of it.
• Effects it had on school:  I stayed home and ECHOed because there was no physical way I could sit in class all day.  When at school, I would literally takes naps on our patient tables in our practice rooms.
• Nausea. Brushing my teeth.  Made me more nauseous than anything and often made me throw up.  So did water or phlegm.
• Fetal development
• Effects on school life:  I didn't go to cadaver lab.  My school suggested this and was very supportive of this and made every accommodation for me to get the same amount of information.
• Second Trimester:
• Most of my first trimester symptoms carried over through half of second trimester.  
• The second half was better.   Energy picked up a bit. 
• It wasn't as grand as everyone makes it sound.  I did not feel like my non pregnant self still.  Prior to being pregnant I had a ton of energy and could run circles around people all day every day.  Second trimester was just less sucky than the first.
• Third Trimester
• My pants finally got too tight.  Luckily most of my shirts still fit since I've always born bigger tops.  I wear my husbands shirts to work out in and a few of my bottoms are still fitting just fine.  But, I refuse to buy an entire new wardrobe for 3 months of real clothes I can wear to school.
• Things I did buy
• Maternity pants-1 pair of dress slacks, 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of colored pants that can cross over between casual and business casual
• Scrubs- I just bought men's bottoms and a women's top that is too big.  Maternity styles were wayyy too expensive for what I use them for right now
• Maternity dress- one because it was cute
• Maternity tops- 3.  I got two from a local thrift store and the other one from Motherhood Maternity so I could wear it for our patient encounters.
• Heartburn.  This is real.  I'm convinced I will eat my body weight in tums by the end of my pregnancy.  I carry them around everywhere with me- movies, tests, out to dinner, literally everywhere. 

I think the hardest struggle is finding balance throughout all of this.  School is important, growing a healthy baby is important, my marriage is important, and I'm important.  Trying to nurture all of these has been my biggest goal.

I'm not at the top of my class.  And I'm okay with this.  It took me a while to feel this way.  I was really struggling with this at the end of my first trimester.  I'm so used to doing really well and it was a hard pill to swallow.  This season of my life is difficult and I have to make hard choices when it comes to time management.  Trust me, I would still love to be killing school and hope to work my way back up to it in second year.

But at the end of the day: I'm passing and learning a lot and absolutely loving school (even on the hard days).  My baby is measuring right on schedule, moving like a crazy person, and is even responding to music now (which is my absolute favorite).  My health is great, weight is right on track, all my labs are great, and I'm still lifting 3x a week which helps me feel "normal".  My husband is still the most amazing human I've ever met and has been beyond great to me from cooking, cleaning, love, support, and helping me in absolutely every possible way.

Block 1 of Medical School: Complete

The past six months of medical school has flown by.
Here is the gist of it:

White coat ceremony was surreal.  It was one of the best days to date.  I cried a little because I was so proud of myself.  I just couldn't believe my hard work and crazy life had finally brought me to the place I wanted to be and they were handing me my short white coat.
It was also hard.  It was so hard knowing my mom wouldn't be there.  That after when everyone is looking for their families faces in the crowd that hers wouldn't be there and it wouldn't be there in the hallway after either.

But I am so thankful that my sweet husband's face is always there with a smile, in the crowd, in the hallway, after a long day he's always there.  I honestly don't know if I would have ever had the confidence to do this on my own when there were so many bumps along the way.  A support system is absolutely necessary.

It took a couple weeks to get over the initial shock that I was actually on my way to becoming a doctor.  The deer in headlights in me stuck around for orientation and the first week and a half of school and wore off shortly after the first quizzes when we got back to the thing we've been doing since we were 5 years old- studying and quizzing.

I think its wearing off.  I feel like this is just life now instead of some dream.

I found out I was pregnant days before school started.  So school and baby together has been a complete roller coaster. With only 2 months left until baby things are getting really interesting.


Things I'm struggling with:
-Socially.  All of my classmates are so kind and so loving and they don't do this to boast.  But I do feel socially behind all of them.  They talk about their large institutions, their research, the places around the world they've been and it does make me feel very isolated.  I've been working since I was 15 to make it.

• Education: I didn't have the money or educational background to go to a large, fancy institution coming from a tiny, rural, under served, and lower educated area.  I went where I was offered the most scholarship and grant monies.  And ITS OKAY.  I may have went to a small, regional, university in the South West but I do not feel like my education is lacking in the slightest.  That small university got me a degree, hardly any debt, a lot of one on one attention from amazing professors who have worked at some of the most impressive places, and I am still on par in class with my peers who went to these dream schools.  If you are at a small school, it's okay and it is not a death sentence.
• Research: Small university=small research opportunities.  Also, I never knew how important it was.  I fumbled through this process a lot and wish I would have had anyone say "HEY!  THIS IS IMPORTANT!".  It's important, do it!  Even if it is limited and you don't love sitting at the bench all day at the end of the day this is how so many medical issues are being studied and you need to know and appreciate this.
• Travel: Poor in college regardless that a lot of it I worked full time while going to school full time.  My family doesn't have money.  All my money went to phone bills, car insurance, rent, buying a car when ours died, and all the in between stuff.  I had to adult which took most of money and there just wasn't any left over to do this amazing trips and experience the world.  And its okay- we are all so different and bring so much to the table with our lives.
• Lower class:  I think this is something I will always feel and will struggle with my entire life.  I feel like I will forever be trying not to be the poor lower class girl that I am.  I have a hard time relating to stories of everyone in their family is doctors, having amazing opportunities to shadow world class surgeons that their parents know, medical volunteer work all over the world, and so many other amazing opportunities that I am so envious of.  If this speaks to you- you're not alone.  I'm not alone in my class either, there are a few of us struggling with this and I know we're not alone around the country in feeling like this.

I know it's application season and I do wish you all the best of luck because it's a hard, emotional, and whirlwind of a roller coaster and everyone needs someone to root them on! Not every school will be a fit- always go for the best fit not the best name.  A name is great, but 4 years in a high stress environment might not be the best for your mental health if you're unhappy where you are at.  

You got this!

Block 1 of Medical School: Complete

The past month of medical school has flown by.
Here is the gist of it:

White coat ceremony was surreal.  It was one of the best days to date.  I cried a little because I was so proud of myself.  I just couldn't believe my hard work and crazy life had finally brought me to the place I wanted to be and they were handing me my short white coat.
It was also hard.  It was so hard knowing my mom wouldn't be there.  That after when everyone is looking for their families faces in the crowd that hers wouldn't be there and it wouldn't be there in the hallway after either.

But I am so thankful that my sweet husband's face is always there with a smile, in the crowd, in the hallway, after a long day he's always there.  I honestly don't know if I would have ever had the confidence to do this on my own when there were so many bumps along the way.  A support system is absolutely necessary.

It took a couple weeks to get over the initial shock that I was actually on my way to becoming a doctor.  The deer in headlights in me stuck around for orientation and the first week and a half of school and wore off shortly after the first quizzes when we got back to the thing we've been doing since we were 5 years old- studying and quizzing.

I think its wearing off.  I feel like this is just life now instead of some dream.

We have now had 2 patient encounters.  Which is a doozy in its own that no one ever talks about.  Because it is hard to be yourself, get the information for the grade, connect with the patient, and stay under the time limit.  But having these encounters really does keep into perspective why I'm here.

Yesterday I took my first final in medical school and took a solid B in my first course which I am completely happy with.  I'm really making it a point to keep my mental health and relationships a high priority.  And if that means I miss out on a few points to get a B, I am completely happy with that.


Ways I studied for this block:
-Group study.  I was really hesitant to because in undergrad I felt they were so unproductive.  But guess what?  In medical school, everyone there is ready to put in work so it is productive.  Alot of the group study was talking about topics, asking each other questions or practicing patient encounters on each other.
-Took my time the first time through information instead of just glazing over and thinking I'll go back to it later.

Also here is a secret-  there is a lot of information and it does take up a lot of time BUT it is all topics that you are interested in and it all relates back to clinical relevance so it's not that bad.  You may have spent the entire day studying but its typically things you're interested in so it doesn't feel like you spent the whole day doing something so dull.

Things I'm struggling with:
-Socially.  All of my classmates are so kind and so loving and they don't do this to boast.  But I do feel socially behind all of them.  They talk about their large institutions, their research, the places around the world they've been and it does make me feel very isolated.  I've been working since I was 15 to make it.

• Education: I didn't have the money or educational background to go to a large, fancy institution coming from a tiny, rural, under served, and lower educated area.  I went where I was offered the most scholarship and grant monies.  And ITS OKAY.  I may have went to a small, regional, university in the South West but I do not feel like my education is lacking in the slightest.  That small university got me a degree, hardly any debt, a lot of one on one attention from amazing professors who have worked at some of the most impressive places, and I am still on par in class with my peers who went to these dream schools.  If you are at a small school, it's okay and it is not a death sentence.
• Research: Small university=small research opportunities.  Also, I never knew how important it was.  I fumbled through this process a lot and wish I would have had anyone say "HEY!  THIS IS IMPORTANT!".  It's important, do it!  Even if it is limited and you don't love sitting at the bench all day at the end of the day this is how so many medical issues are being studied and you need to know and appreciate this.
• Travel: Poor in college regardless that a lot of it I worked full time while going to school full time.  My family doesn't have money.  All my money went to phone bills, car insurance, rent, buying a car when ours died, and all the in between stuff.  I had to adult which took most of money and there just wasn't any left over to do this amazing trips and experience the world.  And its okay- we are all so different and bring so much to the table with our lives.
• Lower class:  I think this is something I will always feel and will struggle with my entire life.  I feel like I will forever be trying not to be the poor lower class girl that I am.  I have a hard time relating to stories of everyone in their family is doctors, having amazing opportunities to shadow world class surgeons that their parents know, medical volunteer work all over the world, and so many other amazing opportunities that I am so envious of.  If this speaks to you- you're not alone.  I'm not alone in my class either, there are a few of us struggling with this and I know we're not alone around the country in feeling like this.

I am happy and thankful that my biggest struggle in medical school to date is socially feeling awkward and not the material.  

This is hard to tell the whole world that even after I have this beautiful white coat and wearing my scrubs and official student doctor ID badge that I still feel white trash next to my peers but I would have done anything to talk to anyone in my position on "the other side" when I was a pre-med and honestly doubted if someone like me could ever possible make it into medical school.

I know it's application season and interviews start soon and I do wish you all the best of luck because it's a hard, emotional, and whirlwind of a roller coaster and everyone needs someone to root them on! Not every school will be a fit- always go for the best fit not the best name.  A name is great, but 4 years in a high stress environment might not be the best for your mental health if you're unhappy where you are at.  

You got this!

Price of a Dream

This entire process is so expensive.

Most DO schools require $1500-$3000 deposit once accepted per school.

As many of you know this wasn't my first application year either.

I took the MCAT twice= $500

Applied for an mcat prep program scholarship and thankfully enough got it! 

I sent all of my letters of recommendation through Interfolio.  $7 per letter to send, $20 to sign up. ~$70

Transcript requests: I had dual enrollment through HS, went to a university after high school, and transferred to another university half way through.  3 schools x transcripts x 2 years= $100

I was also fortunate enough to qualify for the AACOMAS and AMCAS application fee waivers both years which also saved me hundreds of dollars.  I did apply to a few extra DO programs that were not covered which cost me an additional $400.

First year I interviewed at UNM.  $50 in gas.  $65 in hotel. $30 for food.

First year I didn't get in anywhere so I applied to a medical school in the Caribbean, my interview in California just so happened to coincide with a family vacation  so there was only an additional $20 in gas I had to spend.   I was again fortunate enough to get in and I paid a $1000 deposit there before I had gotten any interviews this past cycle.  I was not going to not have a back up plan again.  C and I were prepared to move to the Caribbean to get this done.  So we also spent$350 to get our passports.

This year I received 3 interviews.

1. Burrell College of Medicine. $65 for hotel. $30 in gas. $30 in food.

2. A.T. Still SOMATIC .

No hotel money- stayed with family. $40 in gas. And family also fed me.

3. University of Arizona Phoenix.

No hotel money- stayed with family and they fed me. 

What was unique is my SOMA interview was Friday and my UofA interview was the following Monday so I just stayed with family over the weekend which saved a ton of traveling money! 

I did not have a professional wardrobe and am still drastically working on it.  I had to buy slacks, shoes, blouses, dresses, jackets, jewelry- the whole nine yards. 

My wardrobe consists of workout clothes, super casual t shirts and tanks, shorts, jeans, and sandals.  Nothing I can wear to school.

Earlier in the week I about had a panic attack because I was going through clothes and had exactly zero shirts suitable for Medical school in July in Arizona.   Ross saved me hundreds of dollars (compared to shopping at somewhere nice like the Loft) and got 6 shirts for $60. 

The past year I have spent about $500 trying to get a wardrobe thrown together.  I have only shopped in clearance and places like Ross to get these clothes.  That includes a suit, pumps, 4 pairs of flats, 5 dresses, 7 pairs of slacks, 6 summer shirts, 10 winter shirts, 3 necklaces, 3 pairs of earrings.  

I still have zero pairs of scrubs I can wear to school.

A Uhaul is $250 before gas.

Application fee for apartment: $190.

Pet deposits and first months rent: $1010.

Electricity set up: $200

Gas set up: $200

Internet: $50

Vaccines before starting: $25 

Bathroom essentials: $50

Then enough money saved to pay bills until loans kick in. $700.

How I paid for this:

Credit cards, saved every dollar I could (even if it was $10 from my tiny work study paycheck), C worked so hard to save money for this dream, asked friends and family to contribute (this was extremely hard for me to do) but I knew I couldn't do it alone.  My whole life I have been surrounded by amazingly kind and generous people and they are the reason we can afford the deposits and move.  I cried with every donation and am getting teary eyed thinking about everyone who helped make this happen.  

In the past 3 years I have spent/will spend roughly $8000 on this process.

$8000!!! How in the world?! I just sat down and added it all up as I wrote this.

I have been working full time since graduation 3 years ago and living pretty frugally.  I could not have done this on my own; so many people donated time and money for this to happen. Family has let us live with them the past year to save as much as possible.  We have both picked up odd jobs on the sides to have a little extra money. 

Ways I could have saved money: just studied my little butt off and taken the mcat once.  Only apply to medical school one year. And not have accepted a seat at the school in the Caribbean I was going to attend. These 3 combined only save $1670.  $1000 to know I had a seat and a viable option for my future was worth it to me.  

The majority of the cost is when you are accepted and moving.  Don't get me wrong, this could have been a lot more expensive if I wouldn't have been selected for the grant that paid for my MCAT prep class, the fee waivers for AACOMAS and AMCAS, or family taking us in, or interviews not happening to be the same weekend in the same town.  So many variables could add to your expenses.

$8000 is a lot of money when you are in undergrad and have no good source of money coming in and you're eating a lot of ramen.   But $8000 for the rest of your life isn't that much money.  It's an investment.