We're having a baby!!
Surprise!!
We found out a few days before school started so it has been a complete ride.
Being pregnant and knowing I'll have my first baby in medical school has been very surreal.
Let's get up to date:
- We're having a girl!
- She's due at the end of February.
- First felt the quickening at 16 weeks.
So many emotions and thoughts. But my main one: Can I do this?
It's been hard. Doable, but hard.
I've had to get used to medical school and being pregnant all at once while still making sure I make time for myself and my husband.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was so terrified of what that meant with school. What my admins and professors would say and think. I was so scared they would think that I wasn't taking medical school seriously and that I was a wasted spot in the class. But, I can say without a doubt that I am in the right place. Everyone has been beyond supportive, kind, and helpful. Staff, faculty, clinicians, and deans alike have expressed their support and love and I will be forever grateful for their kindness and love. They are also allowing me to make up my missed school that will happen this summer before second year starts. And I couldn't be more thankful.
Struggles per trimester:
- First Trimester:
- Pregnancy brain. This is a thing. And its also the most inconvenient thing that could ever happen to you in medical school while trying to learn everything under the sun. I had always thought this was just something people made up. No- it was the most awful thing. I went from being able to remember things so easily to struggling to even remember how to to use the washing machine.
- Effects it had on real life: I washed my husbands cell phone. And it died. Rice could not save it.
- Effects it had on school: My grades struggled. My retention was nothing. I survived, but some of the material just didn't stick which will make studying for boards interesting when I get to that information again.
- Food aversions. I hated most food under the sun. I'm convinced my baby is made out of crackers and string cheese. Because this is pretty much all I ate.
- Effects it had on real life: My poor husband had to cook us every single meal because the look of uncooked meat sent me heaving.
- Effects it had on school: Low energy because I wasn't eating much.
- Exhaustion. I slept ALOT. I had to take nap breaks while studying to make it through the next few hours.
- Effects it had on real life: I was a zombie for most of it.
- Effects it had on school: I stayed home and ECHOed because there was no physical way I could sit in class all day. When at school, I would literally takes naps on our patient tables in our practice rooms.
- Nausea. Brushing my teeth. Made me more nauseous than anything and often made me throw up. So did water or phlegm.
- Fetal development
- Effects on school life: I didn't go to cadaver lab. My school suggested this and was very supportive of this and made every accommodation for me to get the same amount of information.
- Second Trimester:
- Most of my first trimester symptoms carried over through half of second trimester.
- The second half was better. Energy picked up a bit.
- It wasn't as grand as everyone makes it sound. I did not feel like my non pregnant self still. Prior to being pregnant I had a ton of energy and could run circles around people all day every day. Second trimester was just less sucky than the first.
- Third Trimester
- My pants finally got too tight. Luckily most of my shirts still fit since I've always born bigger tops. I wear my husbands shirts to work out in and a few of my bottoms are still fitting just fine. But, I refuse to buy an entire new wardrobe for 3 months of real clothes I can wear to school.
- Things I did buy
- Maternity pants-1 pair of dress slacks, 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of colored pants that can cross over between casual and business casual
- Scrubs- I just bought men's bottoms and a women's top that is too big. Maternity styles were wayyy too expensive for what I use them for right now
- Maternity dress- one because it was cute
- Maternity tops- 3. I got two from a local thrift store and the other one from Motherhood Maternity so I could wear it for our patient encounters.
- Heartburn. This is real. I'm convinced I will eat my body weight in tums by the end of my pregnancy. I carry them around everywhere with me- movies, tests, out to dinner, literally everywhere.
I think the hardest struggle is finding balance throughout all of this. School is important, growing a healthy baby is important, my marriage is important, and I'm important. Trying to nurture all of these has been my biggest goal.
I'm not at the top of my class. And I'm okay with this. It took me a while to feel this way. I was really struggling with this at the end of my first trimester. I'm so used to doing really well and it was a hard pill to swallow. This season of my life is difficult and I have to make hard choices when it comes to time management. Trust me, I would still love to be killing school and hope to work my way back up to it in second year.
But at the end of the day: I'm passing and learning a lot and absolutely loving school (even on the hard days). My baby is measuring right on schedule, moving like a crazy person, and is even responding to music now (which is my absolute favorite). My health is great, weight is right on track, all my labs are great, and I'm still lifting 3x a week which helps me feel "normal". My husband is still the most amazing human I've ever met and has been beyond great to me from cooking, cleaning, love, support, and helping me in absolutely every possible way.
